so a stranger now - friend once- decided to re-enter my life today. i was happy for a split second, i truly was. now i feel sadder than ever.
i actually think i may be suffering from a form of depression. i feel like within the last two years, i abandoned my friends and family. i closed up, i swear i'm not that "sweet, funny, bubbly" person i used to be.
i feel like a chunk of me is missing, that i lost a piece of myself over the past few months.
as i lost friend after friend, i kind of realized what friends were worth.
though i don't regret losing these friends, it happened for the best, i can't seem to open up to anyone else that has entered my life.
i feel intimidated by some friends, and feel like i don't belong sometimes. i don't know if everyone goes through a phase like this or even if this is "normal".
i know some of you may have read my post about my brother, well it's still getting to me. i don't know how to find closure for that and many other things in my life.
i miss working with my friends, i lost that job when i injured my foot earlier this year, i want to re -apply but feel a little embarrassed.
i think that i should move on, but i really miss working with my friends and just being around people i LOVE all day.
i mean the new job is awesome, i love it, but it's nothing compared to my old job, and my old memories.
family life is still a bit on the rocks.. we have our moments, at times i want to cry my eyes out and scream right in the middle of the living room, and other times, we laugh, giggle at the stupid things my dogs do.
but being someone else is really hard. i really want to be me again. i'm crying, but it feels good to cry, i've kept this in for a few weeks and didn't know who to tell.
so here i am, exposed, once again.
i want to go cry in bed, i just wake up happier, i really hope it works. wish me luck.
xx
23.11.08
if you're racist and you know it, kill yourself ♪
i'd like to touch base on racism and why it annoys me so much.
i think people naturally are retarded.
a friend shared a video with me that honestly shocked me.
the sad thing is, when i went to europe this summer, we couldn't go to a single club because they were always "vip" or "completely full" or "25+". i remember one night that everyone decided we'd go out, considering that most of us were from canada and were in europe for the first time.
we were all people of colour, hence it was a problem.
it made me sick, because my cousins were used to it. they said that after a few times, you get used to the rejection. it made me SICK.
i do not tolerate any form of racism whatsoever. i don't think anyone should.
i hate racist people! damn you racist fucks!
i think people naturally are retarded.
a friend shared a video with me that honestly shocked me.
the sad thing is, when i went to europe this summer, we couldn't go to a single club because they were always "vip" or "completely full" or "25+". i remember one night that everyone decided we'd go out, considering that most of us were from canada and were in europe for the first time.
we were all people of colour, hence it was a problem.
it made me sick, because my cousins were used to it. they said that after a few times, you get used to the rejection. it made me SICK.
i do not tolerate any form of racism whatsoever. i don't think anyone should.
i hate racist people! damn you racist fucks!
18.11.08
14.11.08
proposition h8te.
i haven't blogged in like a million years, which sucks! but i swear i've been swamped at work and now i'm trying to take up some other projects like fixing/redecorating my room, sewing a few things i've been meaning to, and i want to paint something for my room too.
and i think of wonderful things to blog about when i'm on the bus, on my way to work.. and forget by the time i'm at work, or home.
anywho i wanted to touch base on proposition 8, or as some call it proposition HATE.
and i'm afraid, but i consider it hateful too.
how can a place like california (oh em gee) consider banning a right that every human has?
as some of you may know, gay marriage is legal in toronto, which makes me proud to be from toronto.. and at the same time makes me question, why do we need to legalize something that is already a human right?
aren't we as humans understanding enough to think that we all want to marry? or are we all just plain assholes who are against something that everyone should be able to do, or not to do.
if you ever go back to my other posts, you'll see that i'm not the biggest fan of marriage, because as we all know, most of them end up in divorce. but my point with this post is to say, we're all equal and what right does the next person have to change or determine what i do in my life.
my ex-asshole was against gay relationships and abortions, and i told him to his face, that after he mentioned those things to me, he was half the person he was before i knew that about him. and i hate on him for being such a dumb, pathetic asshole. he hated on his sister for a good year after she had an abortion, what an asshole hence he is an ex, added on to all the other things that make me want to hunt him down and skin his penis.
everyone has the right to do whatever they want, this is 2008, and it makes me sick to even think that people have a right to say what they want to say against someone else, fuckers.
i'm angry because people are ignorant fucks.
UGHHHHH.
and i think of wonderful things to blog about when i'm on the bus, on my way to work.. and forget by the time i'm at work, or home.
anywho i wanted to touch base on proposition 8, or as some call it proposition HATE.
and i'm afraid, but i consider it hateful too.
how can a place like california (oh em gee) consider banning a right that every human has?
as some of you may know, gay marriage is legal in toronto, which makes me proud to be from toronto.. and at the same time makes me question, why do we need to legalize something that is already a human right?
aren't we as humans understanding enough to think that we all want to marry? or are we all just plain assholes who are against something that everyone should be able to do, or not to do.
if you ever go back to my other posts, you'll see that i'm not the biggest fan of marriage, because as we all know, most of them end up in divorce. but my point with this post is to say, we're all equal and what right does the next person have to change or determine what i do in my life.
my ex-asshole was against gay relationships and abortions, and i told him to his face, that after he mentioned those things to me, he was half the person he was before i knew that about him. and i hate on him for being such a dumb, pathetic asshole. he hated on his sister for a good year after she had an abortion, what an asshole hence he is an ex, added on to all the other things that make me want to hunt him down and skin his penis.
everyone has the right to do whatever they want, this is 2008, and it makes me sick to even think that people have a right to say what they want to say against someone else, fuckers.
i'm angry because people are ignorant fucks.
UGHHHHH.
4.11.08
ass.
so i'm here to bitch again.. sort of.
i went on my facebook today..
somehow ended up at a picture of my ass, from some party i went to over a year ago, so yeah. a picture of my ass on some girl's account, i don't know her. but i want to punch her on the gut.
i think that's sort of normal?
i mean i'm a little angry
and no, not a nude shot, but a shot of my underwear/ass. UGH.
and this is why i hate facebook and all of the sites that act like it.
what a pile of bullshit.
it sucks, because i can't do anything about it.
i went on my facebook today..
somehow ended up at a picture of my ass, from some party i went to over a year ago, so yeah. a picture of my ass on some girl's account, i don't know her. but i want to punch her on the gut.
i think that's sort of normal?
i mean i'm a little angry
and no, not a nude shot, but a shot of my underwear/ass. UGH.
and this is why i hate facebook and all of the sites that act like it.
what a pile of bullshit.
it sucks, because i can't do anything about it.
3.11.08
home sweet home
i don't think i ever appreciate my home as much as i do during cold winter days or hot humid summer days.
the other day, i went to fear fest at wonderland, and for my non-canadian readers, wonderland is a HUGE amusement park here in toronto.
i don't usually go there, but for the past two years we have started to go for halloween.
anywho, i went there with my sister, her fiancee and his older brother. it was fun, it usually ends up being, i hate going on rides, but somehow they convince me to get on one and then afterwards, i refuse to near any.
it was a warm day, surprisingly nice out here, and they thought it was stay a bit warm, and so we decided not to wear anything super warm. BIG MISTAKE.
i make alot of big mistakes : ).
so come 10 o'clock, the temprature drops like a million degrees. i was so tired of walking and i couldn't stand the cold, i even started to get a back ache from the cold.
and i was SOOO happy to step into my house after the long night, i mean don't get me wrong, i had alot of fun and i'm always up to go out, but at the end of the day, i don't want anything more then my bed and blanket.
i can't imagine not having a home to come to.
those are the nights i feel so strongly for the homeless, for people living under the poverty line. and it makes me sick. because the winters in canada are COLD, i mean a limb will fall off if you don't cover it, no pun intended.
it's terrible, i mean i go downtown every now and then during winter time, and see the poor people laying on those manholes that blow out warm air. and i swear it breaks my heart :'(
appreciate your home, your family or loved ones, not everyone has what you have, honestly. it can always be worse.
much love
xx
the other day, i went to fear fest at wonderland, and for my non-canadian readers, wonderland is a HUGE amusement park here in toronto.
i don't usually go there, but for the past two years we have started to go for halloween.
anywho, i went there with my sister, her fiancee and his older brother. it was fun, it usually ends up being, i hate going on rides, but somehow they convince me to get on one and then afterwards, i refuse to near any.
it was a warm day, surprisingly nice out here, and they thought it was stay a bit warm, and so we decided not to wear anything super warm. BIG MISTAKE.
i make alot of big mistakes : ).
so come 10 o'clock, the temprature drops like a million degrees. i was so tired of walking and i couldn't stand the cold, i even started to get a back ache from the cold.
and i was SOOO happy to step into my house after the long night, i mean don't get me wrong, i had alot of fun and i'm always up to go out, but at the end of the day, i don't want anything more then my bed and blanket.
i can't imagine not having a home to come to.
those are the nights i feel so strongly for the homeless, for people living under the poverty line. and it makes me sick. because the winters in canada are COLD, i mean a limb will fall off if you don't cover it, no pun intended.
it's terrible, i mean i go downtown every now and then during winter time, and see the poor people laying on those manholes that blow out warm air. and i swear it breaks my heart :'(
appreciate your home, your family or loved ones, not everyone has what you have, honestly. it can always be worse.
much love
xx
26.10.08
my brother.
i'm a little sad,
and this is because i feel so strongly for a friend on the blogs here, sarah, who blogs on www.girllikesgirl.blogspot.com, she is an awesome person, you can tell just by reading what she writes, and you can almost feel what she writes.
she is going through a rough time, and it reminds me of some moments which were barely similar, but somewhat painful. nothing can compare to what she is feeling though. much love for you sarah!
i'm sad because i miss my brother, i haven't seen him since i was fourteen.
in my family, we are 5 siblings and both my parents are still here with us, and i love them to death. i love my parents oh so much. i really do. as a family, we've been through A LOT in life and not seeing one of our family members has dug out a big hole in our household. i'm crying as a type. i can't help it. as soon as i start talking about my brother, i get very emotional.. because i'm a bit angry at him.
see, my brother was the oldest out of all the siblings, and i'm the youngest. we were always very close, and i'm angry that he doesn't bother calling us. infact, we don't even know where he is.
he left angry. he was dating a woman who was basically a witch. she is an older woman, about my mother's age, with a son who is 25, (my brother is 32 now). which makes it totalllly awkward.
at first, we didn't say anything about her, we accepted her because love is blind, and apparently stupid too.
we didn't mind her, we were sweet to her, me and my two sisters tried hard to make her comfortable in the household. but it was weird, i was a bit young to understand, and didn't get why she was always avoiding our family. she disrespected my family several times, and she didn't like my mother, who i swear is the sweetest woman anyone will ever meet, she didn't like me or my sisters.
she did the weirdest things, and i won't get into it. she didn't tell us about her son, or her past, she claimed she was 27... and yeah.. she didn't look it.
she stayed with us for a few days and so this gave me a chance to get into her stuff one night when she was out with my brother.
we got some i.d. from her bag and there it was, her fake name on a passport. her birthday, and pictures of her old son.
we didn't know what to do. we acted like we never saw it.
eventually she made my father so angry that he made my brother pick between her and us.
and as you can tell .. he picked her. and left our house. and we haven't seen him since.
he called us every now and then, but hasn't called in over two years.
this is hard on my mother, she cried for about 6 months straight. was miserable. and now still misses him ofcourse.
i don't know what to expect.
my dad doesn't mention him to anyone anymore, it's like he never exsisted.
i can't talk about him in front of my mom, it just crushes her.
i don't know what to do. he may read this.. i hope he does, and i hope he knows who is writing this.
i miss him alot, i can't believe it has been 5 years, and i've cried alot.. and i really want to see my brother again. the last time i spoke to him was when i was in the hospital, dying, he decided to call, and i didn't want to talk to him, i was angry, i wish i begged him to come. i wish i did.
i can't stop crying. so i'll stop talking about him. i'm so depressed about this. i don't know what to do.
xx
and this is because i feel so strongly for a friend on the blogs here, sarah, who blogs on www.girllikesgirl.blogspot.com, she is an awesome person, you can tell just by reading what she writes, and you can almost feel what she writes.
she is going through a rough time, and it reminds me of some moments which were barely similar, but somewhat painful. nothing can compare to what she is feeling though. much love for you sarah!
i'm sad because i miss my brother, i haven't seen him since i was fourteen.
in my family, we are 5 siblings and both my parents are still here with us, and i love them to death. i love my parents oh so much. i really do. as a family, we've been through A LOT in life and not seeing one of our family members has dug out a big hole in our household. i'm crying as a type. i can't help it. as soon as i start talking about my brother, i get very emotional.. because i'm a bit angry at him.
see, my brother was the oldest out of all the siblings, and i'm the youngest. we were always very close, and i'm angry that he doesn't bother calling us. infact, we don't even know where he is.
he left angry. he was dating a woman who was basically a witch. she is an older woman, about my mother's age, with a son who is 25, (my brother is 32 now). which makes it totalllly awkward.
at first, we didn't say anything about her, we accepted her because love is blind, and apparently stupid too.
we didn't mind her, we were sweet to her, me and my two sisters tried hard to make her comfortable in the household. but it was weird, i was a bit young to understand, and didn't get why she was always avoiding our family. she disrespected my family several times, and she didn't like my mother, who i swear is the sweetest woman anyone will ever meet, she didn't like me or my sisters.
she did the weirdest things, and i won't get into it. she didn't tell us about her son, or her past, she claimed she was 27... and yeah.. she didn't look it.
she stayed with us for a few days and so this gave me a chance to get into her stuff one night when she was out with my brother.
we got some i.d. from her bag and there it was, her fake name on a passport. her birthday, and pictures of her old son.
we didn't know what to do. we acted like we never saw it.
eventually she made my father so angry that he made my brother pick between her and us.
and as you can tell .. he picked her. and left our house. and we haven't seen him since.
he called us every now and then, but hasn't called in over two years.
this is hard on my mother, she cried for about 6 months straight. was miserable. and now still misses him ofcourse.
i don't know what to expect.
my dad doesn't mention him to anyone anymore, it's like he never exsisted.
i can't talk about him in front of my mom, it just crushes her.
i don't know what to do. he may read this.. i hope he does, and i hope he knows who is writing this.
i miss him alot, i can't believe it has been 5 years, and i've cried alot.. and i really want to see my brother again. the last time i spoke to him was when i was in the hospital, dying, he decided to call, and i didn't want to talk to him, i was angry, i wish i begged him to come. i wish i did.
i can't stop crying. so i'll stop talking about him. i'm so depressed about this. i don't know what to do.
xx
stupid me!
Oh God.
i miss the MOST important meeting, which was a conference call, for work and now i feel stupid.
this is for my new job and everyone is super nice.
though i have a good excuse, because i'm not feeling well at all, i still feel terrible, but i guess telling them the truth will help.
well i left my manager a message, and all she said was . Ok..
what a bunch of horse shit!
wish me luck, i go in bright and early, and feeling stupid. :'(
xx
i miss the MOST important meeting, which was a conference call, for work and now i feel stupid.
this is for my new job and everyone is super nice.
though i have a good excuse, because i'm not feeling well at all, i still feel terrible, but i guess telling them the truth will help.
well i left my manager a message, and all she said was . Ok..
what a bunch of horse shit!
wish me luck, i go in bright and early, and feeling stupid. :'(
xx
23.10.08
my fat head.
okay so i'm panicing, but no one in my house is up to check this for me.
i think i have a fat flab on the back of my head. i may cry.
but.. it only appears when i tilt my head far enough.
this sucks. :'(
i mean i'm okay with being pudgy, but we're talking back-head-flabs here.
i've only seen this on bald men.
ahhhhhh :'(
i'm going to get my sister to check first thing tomorrow.
i swear. don't laugh.
i can't find a picture either.
i think i have a fat flab on the back of my head. i may cry.
but.. it only appears when i tilt my head far enough.
this sucks. :'(
i mean i'm okay with being pudgy, but we're talking back-head-flabs here.
i've only seen this on bald men.
ahhhhhh :'(
i'm going to get my sister to check first thing tomorrow.
i swear. don't laugh.
i can't find a picture either.
22.10.08
i found me.
i am/want to pursue and become:
a journalist
an author
a fashion designer
a magazine owner
a real estate agent
a human rights activist
a make up artist
i don't know why i have so many different aspirations but i am very happy with them all and somehow, i see them all coming true sooner or later in my lifetime.
right now.. i'm working on my real estate license, and let me tell you it's BORING but will be worth it for me.
i am going to start studying fashion in a few months, and will be studying journalism right after.
i have already worked as a make up artist and plan on continuing to do so as i get the opportunities.
as for my magazine and designs, those i plan on starting once i get myself on a good roll, i.e. i'm done school for good.
i will try to battle the world of human rights through my writing.
i think having many interests is just as hard as having no interests.
i am confident in that i know where i hope to take my life in the near future.
i think these were the hardest decisions of my life..and somehow, i see them changing as a grow as a person.
it happens.
i think pursuing your dreams just makes you a step closer to self-realization.
i mean i bet we're all soul searching and while doing so, i have put myself through a lot.
i have taken others down with me, while i have boosted some.
i have lost friends, made new ones and have realized the importance of family and self worth.
the love and respect i have for myself, i would have never had, had i not made the mistakes i did make.
mistakes help one find the little glitches in life that make us whole.
okay that's enough philosophical thinking for one sitting.
much loves.
xx
a journalist
an author
a fashion designer
a magazine owner
a real estate agent
a human rights activist
a make up artist
i don't know why i have so many different aspirations but i am very happy with them all and somehow, i see them all coming true sooner or later in my lifetime.
right now.. i'm working on my real estate license, and let me tell you it's BORING but will be worth it for me.
i am going to start studying fashion in a few months, and will be studying journalism right after.
i have already worked as a make up artist and plan on continuing to do so as i get the opportunities.
as for my magazine and designs, those i plan on starting once i get myself on a good roll, i.e. i'm done school for good.
i will try to battle the world of human rights through my writing.
i think having many interests is just as hard as having no interests.
i am confident in that i know where i hope to take my life in the near future.
i think these were the hardest decisions of my life..and somehow, i see them changing as a grow as a person.
it happens.
i think pursuing your dreams just makes you a step closer to self-realization.
i mean i bet we're all soul searching and while doing so, i have put myself through a lot.
i have taken others down with me, while i have boosted some.
i have lost friends, made new ones and have realized the importance of family and self worth.
the love and respect i have for myself, i would have never had, had i not made the mistakes i did make.
mistakes help one find the little glitches in life that make us whole.
okay that's enough philosophical thinking for one sitting.
much loves.
xx
20.10.08
MIA!
hiiii guys.
i've been missing in action due to the two new jobs.
as you can tell.. it is a bit hectic for me because i still need to get used to the routine.
otherwise.. i have loads of stories i want to tell you, but won't be until later on this week..
so if you miss me, i miss you too.
hehaha.
i'm soo tired, beyond belief i don't have a day off.. until.. i don't even know. which sad in a sense.
anywho
much loves readers : )
xx
s.a
i've been missing in action due to the two new jobs.
as you can tell.. it is a bit hectic for me because i still need to get used to the routine.
otherwise.. i have loads of stories i want to tell you, but won't be until later on this week..
so if you miss me, i miss you too.
hehaha.
i'm soo tired, beyond belief i don't have a day off.. until.. i don't even know. which sad in a sense.
anywho
much loves readers : )
xx
s.a
17.10.08
fuck work, give me money everyone :D
i don't know how people do it.
i just got a second part-time job today and i didn't even start work yet, and i can feel myself stressing.
i just started work recently.. i had an injury right before the summer, i'll tell you guys about it another time, right now i'm still in agony from the tooth..or teeth i don't know, well that injury cost me my ex-job and so now that i have returned to the work force, i've gone in full force and for the first time i'll be trying two jobs at once and i'm so scared.
i don't want them to interfere and the second job's manager scares me. she knows i have another job and so is a bit compassionate, doesn't make me less scared though.
let's see where it takes me.
and job #1 is annoying me with intensive training.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( i'm dyingggggg of stress and a broken-jaw type pain.
UGH.
i just got a second part-time job today and i didn't even start work yet, and i can feel myself stressing.
i just started work recently.. i had an injury right before the summer, i'll tell you guys about it another time, right now i'm still in agony from the tooth..or teeth i don't know, well that injury cost me my ex-job and so now that i have returned to the work force, i've gone in full force and for the first time i'll be trying two jobs at once and i'm so scared.
i don't want them to interfere and the second job's manager scares me. she knows i have another job and so is a bit compassionate, doesn't make me less scared though.
let's see where it takes me.
and job #1 is annoying me with intensive training.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( i'm dyingggggg of stress and a broken-jaw type pain.
UGH.
16.10.08
booby-eyed bastard.
today was the my first day on the new job and i work with customers, so the first one i got was this older man.. seemed like he never left his house. he came up to me, uncomfortably close and started to criticize my company (i could care less at first). the i noticed his eyes going from my eyes to my boobs, eyes-boobs-eyes-boobs, and he didn't stop doing that until he shut up and walked away. i would turn away a little and he'd look at my butt, then i'd cross my arms, still did that. it wasn't that i was wearing anything revealing, i was wearing something work appropriate. i wanted to kick him on his tiny balls, really hard. i wish i had, but then i'd get fired and such. but when he walked away, i was quick to tell the other two girls i was working with and we stood there in disgust.
so that's my story for today, i'm sure i'll bring you many more unfortunately.
so that's my story for today, i'm sure i'll bring you many more unfortunately.
xx
wisdom teeth.
i have a killer headache and can't move my jaw due to these pieces of shit.
really, who named these teeth wisdom teeth? ridiculous name for this painful ordeal.
my brain feels like it's getting squished, though it's just my tempo aching in this sharp, annoying pain.
i've had this for over a week now, yeah i was thinking about going to the doctors because i didn't know what it was, but now, i think it's the growing old teeth coming in.. my poor ear is mangled in this ordeal!
< - - so you can have one too. yaay headache.
AHHHHHH .. i wish i could do that out loud, but i can't..
as i type.. i am thinking in a monotone voice and it's making me want to laugh... but i can't.
AHHHH :'( so i'll sit here, in pain. actually no, i'm taking some sort of extra strength pain killer like right now.. or when i get up.
anywho
wisdom teeth are pointless, and so we should banish the gene that causes them.. is that possible?
actually no. everyone should feel the pain i am feeling right now. yes, that means you, and you and even YOU.
UGH. bye.
really, who named these teeth wisdom teeth? ridiculous name for this painful ordeal.
my brain feels like it's getting squished, though it's just my tempo aching in this sharp, annoying pain.
i've had this for over a week now, yeah i was thinking about going to the doctors because i didn't know what it was, but now, i think it's the growing old teeth coming in.. my poor ear is mangled in this ordeal!< - - so you can have one too. yaay headache.
AHHHHHH .. i wish i could do that out loud, but i can't..
as i type.. i am thinking in a monotone voice and it's making me want to laugh... but i can't.
AHHHH :'( so i'll sit here, in pain. actually no, i'm taking some sort of extra strength pain killer like right now.. or when i get up.
anywho
wisdom teeth are pointless, and so we should banish the gene that causes them.. is that possible?
actually no. everyone should feel the pain i am feeling right now. yes, that means you, and you and even YOU.
UGH. bye.
15.10.08
poppy-cock ..i mean corn.
i just ate an entire bag of popcorn, don't get me wrong, i do this very often. but i feel guilty afterwards.. but there's something about popcorn that i can't resist. mmmm..
rude people should go die.
is it just me or are people getting ruder by the freaking minute?
there are those who just make unnecessary comments, then those who take physical actions that make them look stupid.
there are so many pet peeves that i have that make cringe when it comes to people;
people texting or talking on the phone when others are around, it's SO annoying. and how do you approach these people?
i had a friend who was always on the phone, and she would just answer her phone/talk on it for hours, ignoring everyone else and i wanted to punch her nose in.
then there's the guy who can't stop texting, equally ANNOYING.
there's that lady who was never on time at work, there were two of them actually, they would both take the longest breaks, you know 4 hour long breaks for an 8 hour shift, i'm dead serious. one of them actually went in to do her taxes during one of these breaks, and never came back to work, well came in 10 mins before her shift ended to sign out. stupid bitch.
it sucked because the rest of the girls would cover up for these fully grown women, in their 40s!
okay another thing was being ignored, my cousin's girlfriend, i hope she reads this someday. what she would do is pretend she didn't hear you. you would be having a conversation and then bam. the conversation ended but you didn't know. it was quite sad, i did talk to my cousins sister, my other cousin about this, and she said his girlfriend was "just like that". she deserves a kick on the tit. thank god she lives in germany and i don't have to see her face hopefully ever again.
okay so, when you try to help a friend out, when they are either doing something wrong, or something is wrong with them, and they counter attack you, thinking you were trying to be rude, like fuck off.
then there's the friend who doesn't stop talking about a particular person, that they are dating or like, i mean okay fine, i'll listen to you for a minute or two, but fuck off, i don't care what he said about this other girl. if i hear this one girl talk about this guy again, i'm going to pull out my own hair, one by one.
and because i have worked one on one with customers, i have started to chronically hate people.
they can be so rude, and i'm talking mainly about women, those who think other people are below them, bitch, if i wasn't at work, i'd rip off your scalp, take out your brain and shove it up your ass. if you have been through this, you know EXACTLY what i am talking about.
i can't believe some people. seriously.
i'm sure you all have your own experiences with people in your life, who have either ruined your day or parts of your life.
i guess you have to learn to either ignore them or approach them straight in the face, especially if they are your friends, it's hard, but you have to try.
ughhhh.
there are those who just make unnecessary comments, then those who take physical actions that make them look stupid.
there are so many pet peeves that i have that make cringe when it comes to people;
people texting or talking on the phone when others are around, it's SO annoying. and how do you approach these people?
i had a friend who was always on the phone, and she would just answer her phone/talk on it for hours, ignoring everyone else and i wanted to punch her nose in.
then there's the guy who can't stop texting, equally ANNOYING.
there's that lady who was never on time at work, there were two of them actually, they would both take the longest breaks, you know 4 hour long breaks for an 8 hour shift, i'm dead serious. one of them actually went in to do her taxes during one of these breaks, and never came back to work, well came in 10 mins before her shift ended to sign out. stupid bitch.
it sucked because the rest of the girls would cover up for these fully grown women, in their 40s!
okay another thing was being ignored, my cousin's girlfriend, i hope she reads this someday. what she would do is pretend she didn't hear you. you would be having a conversation and then bam. the conversation ended but you didn't know. it was quite sad, i did talk to my cousins sister, my other cousin about this, and she said his girlfriend was "just like that". she deserves a kick on the tit. thank god she lives in germany and i don't have to see her face hopefully ever again.
okay so, when you try to help a friend out, when they are either doing something wrong, or something is wrong with them, and they counter attack you, thinking you were trying to be rude, like fuck off.
then there's the friend who doesn't stop talking about a particular person, that they are dating or like, i mean okay fine, i'll listen to you for a minute or two, but fuck off, i don't care what he said about this other girl. if i hear this one girl talk about this guy again, i'm going to pull out my own hair, one by one.
and because i have worked one on one with customers, i have started to chronically hate people.
they can be so rude, and i'm talking mainly about women, those who think other people are below them, bitch, if i wasn't at work, i'd rip off your scalp, take out your brain and shove it up your ass. if you have been through this, you know EXACTLY what i am talking about.
i can't believe some people. seriously.
i'm sure you all have your own experiences with people in your life, who have either ruined your day or parts of your life.
i guess you have to learn to either ignore them or approach them straight in the face, especially if they are your friends, it's hard, but you have to try.
ughhhh.
14.10.08
life is food.
boredboredbored.life is slow at the moment, nothing exciting.
i'm just looking forward to starting school in january, but still need to work that out.
i want cheesecake.. still craving it.. it's been a month now. i think i should whip out the apron and cook up some cheesecake.. apple caramel flavour anyone?
just looking at it makes me drool, seriously.
now someone make me some cheesecake si vous plait cheries <3
food is a big part of life, and i appreciate good food, seriously. i don't care that i'm pudgy, refer to some old post about my love for pudgy women, yum.
xx FOOD.
11.10.08
i love animals.
i'm bored, so i'll give you my thoughts about animal cruelty and peta, the hated/loved organization.
i love animals, alot.
i've always loved them, with a passion, especially dogs, but i love all sorts of animals.
the thing is, growing up, my parents always taught me to care about the living things around me, we didn't have much at the time, but with whatever we had, if we could help someone or an animal, we would.
i mean when i was way young, about 6 or so, we were still living in india, my dad and i were walking home and saw a pigeon bleeding and cooing in pain. we saw that it was alive and with a closer look noticed it had a pellet from a gun in it's wing.
we felt terrible that someone just left it there to die and took it home.
see the thing is, in india, there aren't any facilities for these animals, hell there aren't many for humans, hence we took her home. i'll call it a her, because it seemed like a nice bird :).
my parents nursed it to health and withing a month or so, the pigeon was all well and eager to fly away, and so we let it go.
and this story, and many similar ones are repeated again and again in our lives. we've helped many birds, many kittens and cats in bad situations.
there's this instinct that i get from my parents, for being nice to living things if you can.
even plants, my mum feels bad for them if we leave them out during cold nights and such, i think this just shows you how caring of a person she is, and believe me, the nicest person ever (i'm so lucky :) ).
i love my babies cherry and betsey, i think they're the epitome of my dull life.
see with me and animals, it really bugs me when people abuse their pets or animals.
i'm not an activist, but the way some animals are killed, it isn't right, it's really cruel, i mean yes we eat them, but that doesn't mean we need to treat them like shit, i think we should embrace animals for feeding us and keeping us alive with their milk and such.
personally, i'm pretty close to being a vegan, not pure, but close enough.
the only meat i like is chicken, on occasion. i'm not a fan of anything else.
and i enjoy the occasional seafood (very rarely).
i'm supposed to like seafood because my ethnic background is from a tropical area, on the gulf of oman (check globes bitches), southern iran, all we eat is fish (kay exaggerated).
anywho i'm getting carried off..
i talk alot, and apparently i type alot too, and most of it is b...s.. :(
but yes
don't you dare hurt animals, they can't talk :(
i'll kill the next fucker who hurts a poor animal, and i find out about it. i kill you bitch.
kays guys i think i should stop here.. before i keep going.. uh.. BYEEEE
xx
i love animals, alot.
i've always loved them, with a passion, especially dogs, but i love all sorts of animals.
the thing is, growing up, my parents always taught me to care about the living things around me, we didn't have much at the time, but with whatever we had, if we could help someone or an animal, we would.
i mean when i was way young, about 6 or so, we were still living in india, my dad and i were walking home and saw a pigeon bleeding and cooing in pain. we saw that it was alive and with a closer look noticed it had a pellet from a gun in it's wing.
we felt terrible that someone just left it there to die and took it home.
see the thing is, in india, there aren't any facilities for these animals, hell there aren't many for humans, hence we took her home. i'll call it a her, because it seemed like a nice bird :).
my parents nursed it to health and withing a month or so, the pigeon was all well and eager to fly away, and so we let it go.
and this story, and many similar ones are repeated again and again in our lives. we've helped many birds, many kittens and cats in bad situations.
there's this instinct that i get from my parents, for being nice to living things if you can.
even plants, my mum feels bad for them if we leave them out during cold nights and such, i think this just shows you how caring of a person she is, and believe me, the nicest person ever (i'm so lucky :) ).
i love my babies cherry and betsey, i think they're the epitome of my dull life.
see with me and animals, it really bugs me when people abuse their pets or animals.
i'm not an activist, but the way some animals are killed, it isn't right, it's really cruel, i mean yes we eat them, but that doesn't mean we need to treat them like shit, i think we should embrace animals for feeding us and keeping us alive with their milk and such.
personally, i'm pretty close to being a vegan, not pure, but close enough.
the only meat i like is chicken, on occasion. i'm not a fan of anything else.
and i enjoy the occasional seafood (very rarely).
i'm supposed to like seafood because my ethnic background is from a tropical area, on the gulf of oman (check globes bitches), southern iran, all we eat is fish (kay exaggerated).
anywho i'm getting carried off..
i talk alot, and apparently i type alot too, and most of it is b...s.. :(
but yes
don't you dare hurt animals, they can't talk :(
i'll kill the next fucker who hurts a poor animal, and i find out about it. i kill you bitch.
kays guys i think i should stop here.. before i keep going.. uh.. BYEEEE
xx
10.10.08
honesty-ism yay or nay?
is honestly ALWAYS the best policy?
i really wonder if it is worth losing important people in your life, or should we stick to white lies and keep us whole?
i've lost many friends by being honest.
so here goes another story of my life from the past..
so she was a friend from when we were in middle school, we became awfully close and were basically known as one person, you the sisterly-best friend.
any who, she dated a really annoying, nasty, makes-you-sick type of guy, eventually after a year almost (oh my god i know), they broke up and eventually we could laugh at the situation (after a few long, painful months ofcourse). so we decided we would always be honest to eachother no matter what, especially when it comes to guys and relationships. and this was a pact made when we were about 14.
we were happy friends, she wasn't the nicest person to others, but she was very nice to me, she was the type of person that was scared of people who were not like her, in other words, probably as ignorant as it gets.
any who, we continued on with life, she found a new boyfriend, who was really whippable - and she enjoyed whipping him, she really did. i finally found a guy i wanted to try being in a relationship, she was 15 at the time, i was 16 (we're 10 months apart but in the same year), i know i sound like a stupid 16 year old looking for a boy, but i was a typical girl looking for her fairytale. but ofcourse there was no fairytale, me and one of the many ex's broke up after a year. i mean it was fun when we were together, we went to the movies, the ex-best friend, her gay boyfriend, me and the ex number one went on dates together, almost every weekend, we did everything together. we had alot of fun.
but that was just the fun part, so me and the ex-best friend grew apart and got closer at the same time, if you know what i mean, now we had boyfriends we could talk to, who needed a girlfriend anyways right?
her boyfriend and i had a special relationship, it's called enemies.
i hated him, he was such a whipped little bitch type guy, i hate those.
he did everything she said and more, he stopped talking to his family at 16, because she didn't like them, and what was worse was that she didn't do anything for him, not to any great extent atleast.
she also had helicopter parents and two older brothers. she was a spoiled little brat that got everything but wasn't allowed to use the bus at 16, pathetic.
so every time she had to go see her boytoy, who she wasn't really allowed to see (she wasn't allowed to date, her mother was religious and she came from a south asian decent), she would use me as an excuse (this happens alot to me, ugh) by telling her mother she was hanging out with me while she was with him, and sometimes i'd have to third wheel with her and him(UGHHH) me being stupid, i went along with it, and sat there while my best friend made out/played around with this little whipped puss guy. god how i hated him and now her too. this was a couple of days after my 17th birthday, we were three best friends, and i asked her to come to my birthday party sans her boytoy, and it would be the three girls out for dinner, you guessed it, she brought him. so it was time for me to come clean, but i couldn't do it.. so i took my time, stopped talking to her as much and eventually told her that he was a little bitch and how i hated her using me.
i really wonder if it is worth losing important people in your life, or should we stick to white lies and keep us whole?
i've lost many friends by being honest.
so here goes another story of my life from the past..
so she was a friend from when we were in middle school, we became awfully close and were basically known as one person, you the sisterly-best friend.
any who, she dated a really annoying, nasty, makes-you-sick type of guy, eventually after a year almost (oh my god i know), they broke up and eventually we could laugh at the situation (after a few long, painful months ofcourse). so we decided we would always be honest to eachother no matter what, especially when it comes to guys and relationships. and this was a pact made when we were about 14.
we were happy friends, she wasn't the nicest person to others, but she was very nice to me, she was the type of person that was scared of people who were not like her, in other words, probably as ignorant as it gets.
any who, we continued on with life, she found a new boyfriend, who was really whippable - and she enjoyed whipping him, she really did. i finally found a guy i wanted to try being in a relationship, she was 15 at the time, i was 16 (we're 10 months apart but in the same year), i know i sound like a stupid 16 year old looking for a boy, but i was a typical girl looking for her fairytale. but ofcourse there was no fairytale, me and one of the many ex's broke up after a year. i mean it was fun when we were together, we went to the movies, the ex-best friend, her gay boyfriend, me and the ex number one went on dates together, almost every weekend, we did everything together. we had alot of fun.
but that was just the fun part, so me and the ex-best friend grew apart and got closer at the same time, if you know what i mean, now we had boyfriends we could talk to, who needed a girlfriend anyways right?
her boyfriend and i had a special relationship, it's called enemies.
i hated him, he was such a whipped little bitch type guy, i hate those.
he did everything she said and more, he stopped talking to his family at 16, because she didn't like them, and what was worse was that she didn't do anything for him, not to any great extent atleast.
she also had helicopter parents and two older brothers. she was a spoiled little brat that got everything but wasn't allowed to use the bus at 16, pathetic.
so every time she had to go see her boytoy, who she wasn't really allowed to see (she wasn't allowed to date, her mother was religious and she came from a south asian decent), she would use me as an excuse (this happens alot to me, ugh) by telling her mother she was hanging out with me while she was with him, and sometimes i'd have to third wheel with her and him(UGHHH) me being stupid, i went along with it, and sat there while my best friend made out/played around with this little whipped puss guy. god how i hated him and now her too. this was a couple of days after my 17th birthday, we were three best friends, and i asked her to come to my birthday party sans her boytoy, and it would be the three girls out for dinner, you guessed it, she brought him. so it was time for me to come clean, but i couldn't do it.. so i took my time, stopped talking to her as much and eventually told her that he was a little bitch and how i hated her using me.
so she went off about me being jealous of her "relationship" and me not being in a relationship had caused me to be a bitch about hers. ugh. shut up.
any who -
we stopped talking for a year, then the other best friend wanted me to invite her to my 18th birthday, so we did and she brought the boy toy, once again, but we had invited two guys with us too, which made him a little less awkward. things weren't the same obviously, and since my 18th birthday, we haven't talked much. and now i don't talk to the other best friend either, i don't know how it all happened but it did, and i'm glad it did at an early age, rather then now, or in the future.
so back to my point, is being honest worth a relationship?
i think it is, because i've lost many friends like that, but i don't think they were worth being friends with if they thought i'd sit back and lie to them, i'd rather lose a friend then my dignity and my natural honestly.
so girls, fuck them, fuck the stupid guys who try to make you feel like shit, or use you, throw them out before they throw you out of their life, and honest is the best policy, because one way or another, the truth does eventually come out.
xx
s.a.
8.10.08
i'm sinking, oh nos!
okay so have any of you had to fix your own floors?
i mean without the contractor..
okay so the floor in my room is sinking, i have the lowest room, the basement rec room, and i can see the crack in the tiles i have and how theyre breaking because of HOW my room is sinking.
i'm not worried, but it's so annoying to avoid the cracks in order to have my table just right, straight. ugh.
so i want to re-do my room, i sound so handy :)
but the thing is, i don't know how hard it's going to be, and the overall cost..
so if you guys have any idea about this, or have recently done your floors, what do you suggest?
should we hire someone, or do you think i can do this on my own for a fraction of the price with the help of home-depot and a few friends?
do tell!
thankies.
xx
i mean without the contractor..
okay so the floor in my room is sinking, i have the lowest room, the basement rec room, and i can see the crack in the tiles i have and how theyre breaking because of HOW my room is sinking.
i'm not worried, but it's so annoying to avoid the cracks in order to have my table just right, straight. ugh.
so i want to re-do my room, i sound so handy :)
but the thing is, i don't know how hard it's going to be, and the overall cost..
so if you guys have any idea about this, or have recently done your floors, what do you suggest?
should we hire someone, or do you think i can do this on my own for a fraction of the price with the help of home-depot and a few friends?
do tell!
thankies.
xx
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