grow up bitch.

so seriously,
since highschool is over (way, WAY over) i don't understand how people who graduated the same time i did somehow are still mentally in highschool
i don't get fake friends .. what's with that shit?
i'm OVER it.

it sucks that sometimes your friends forget you when they find "new" friends. i know it's important for everyone to make friends, be social, but there is a limit and way you should treat your friends.
someone once said you only have 8 close friends in a lifetime..
i see this like so:
2 will actually be close friends,
3 will be members of your family
2 people you fall in love with
1 person who is there.. sometimes..
0 true friends.
=
8 people in your life.

isn't that SO sad though.
people need to grow the fucccccccck up.

raspish did a presentation, HA.

title says it all.
hahahaha
it was about cargo cosmetics or something.. i couldn't hear over the "aaaaaaaauhmmmm.. so like...."
so i'm not sure.

epic.

someday i'll wish upon a star..

^^i ACTUALLY did that.. sigh..
i miss the warm tropic air.

i don't know why but my life feels really empty.. the thought of graduating may be a good cause of this .. but not sure if it is the only thing to blame (refer to previous post from last night).
i'm having this sort of separation anxiety for both love, life and school.
i don't REALLy know what i'm doing in two weeks time, but sitting at home isn't my master plan. i'm afraid i'll be stuck doing so.

i wish that ONE of the jobs i applied for calls me asap.
i NEED to get out, work, be happy.
i can't stay at home.
but
but
not just any job, i want a job in my field.
i think i'm capable of it.. just not sure where to hunt one down..

ps. how do i get rid of this emptyness.. anyone know what it is? am i just depressed? for the love of GOD Almighty.
jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus.
i just need to drink water.. this evening nap has officially depressed my hormonal mind.

toooooooooodles.
ill go do an assignment.. makes me all warm inside.

leaving love, home, life behind

it's time.
i'm almost done school; 2 weeks left - 2 assignments and 6 exams, i know i'll finish big.
i can't wait, but i can wait.
i miss my love.
i really do.
you know being hung up on someone for four years is difficult. i mean if we were truly together, it would be different.. but we're not. i don't know what we are. we talk daily for months, fight, stop talking for 2 weeks, start talking again.
i feel that it's real but i'm not sure; would someone who is truly in love with me stop me from moving closer to my career?
i always wanted to move (see previous posts... or maybe i didn't mention it?) somewhere..where i can work, dream, make my dreams come true.
i know my field, fashion, is concentrated and tiny here in canada; especially toronto.. there are virtually no jobs, i don't want to be an assistant manager/associate anymore. i'm over it.
hence, the choice to move. i found a few good postings (location to be announced once hired), and applied. only one has somewhat contacted me, they're reviewing my application/resume. i can't wait.. or can i?
well see.. the love doesn't want me to go.. he says we're finally somewhere we wanted to be for four years and i'm leaving. i know it's selfish of me to leave .. but i want to work, so i can help pay off my parents house, make sure they don't have to work anymore; they've done enough anyway.

he doesn't get it. i get him, but he doesn't get me.. he decided we move on, look for new people.. new everything. but i'm not ready to let go!

what's a girl supposed to do? career or love?
smart choice = career
but my heart doesn't agree.. and i miss my love.