blah blah blah.. such is life.
isn't it obvious by now? aren't you all used to my rants? isn't this blog all about rants?
.. well okay not ALL but mostly. i find it extremely difficult to write about happiness when sadness is easier to express in more then 3 words.
i think my friend is a compulsive liar. you know, as in they have the disease of always lying. lies lies lies and more lies is what i am used to these days. not only from her but from my sister and well, everyone else.
you can't blame me for not finding it easy to trust anyone. it is hard to trust anyone. needless to say i have seen a LOT, and been through a lot of shit that i didn't and shouldn't have had to. i am saddened by my lack of trust in others. some may say the problems lies deep within myself, that i may be as insecure as it gets, to those i say fuck you, and that most of that is wrong, some maybe right. i haven't decided.
i am however sure that i am extremely upset and sad about people lying.. compulsively. i am slightly disgusted. i even had a married father of one pretend he was a single man living at home saddened by how strict HIS father was.. or is? how low can people get? i did put him in his place with a nice message about how disgusting and filthy i think he is. and that how sad his wife and kid would be if they found out their husband/father is a cheap bastard with insecurities bigger then tits.
lets see.. i have discussed some of my current issues. work is an issue, like always. i did love it until about a month ago. now i physically feel sick when i have to go into work. and that is hard to do 5 days out of the week.. every week. can someone say wwwwwwaaaaaaahhhhhhh.
either i'll get over it or i'll figure it out. i have decided to not let it get to me any more. i can't let it take me down every time. like an unwanted friend always reminds me that i am afraid to face my problems.. and well i am. i always either avoid them or run from them. either before problems start or if i sense them. if i am faced with an immediate problem, i will run.
oh and reminder. about a month and half till my sister marries an asshole. i'm sad. i'm really sad. i just wish people would stop lying. just stop.
