got to keep it simple, classy, short and sweet - much like me.

there was once a little girl who wished to grow up to be a surgeon, a teacher, a horse and sometimes an artist.. then reality hit, science sucked and children were full of diseases.
that little girl was me and now i'm here facing another day, but the last day of me being twenty one, 21, two-one. wow. that's over two decades of my life, i'm only that many days, minutes, hours and days wiser. i hold memories of so many things, happy and or sad.
my 21st in a nutshell:
*began the year with a bang and traveled with my best friend to celebrate my birthday on the beach. (amazing.)
*shell shocked when i lost two cousins - suddenly.
*graduated from school and accomplished a set goal
*lost my amazing, wonderful, courageous and loving grandmother (rest in peace, love love you) she is someone i will never forget. miss her today and will miss her forever. :( still makes me sad to think about her passing.
*i got a job, and a promotion and work with a cosmetic company, yawn.
*faced my cousin getting hit by a bomb and surving - god bless him!
*cried so much from that news ^ that i got water damage on my phone and it stopped working
*i decided men are assholes.
*i decided i will marry one day. one flipping day.
*went on my first business trip and felt like a grown man.
*literally realized i grew up.



and here i am today saying goodbye to 365 days that i enjoyed, and here i am beginning it again. this time i will conquer more goals, hopefully have some more positive memories.
i do have regrets and i do have some great memories. i have realized my life has changed a lot in the past 2 years.
this year is when i claim my independence. truly and at last.
love,
s
27.01.11

sisterly hate.

so here i am wondering why people are so ungrateful?
when did this happen? when did people become so damn selfish? or am i just really slow and realizing this now?

i know i want to leave my parent's house to move and study.. work.. grow.. but i feel like they need me here. i know my mother does.
my sister is using me as a crutch to leave. she knows i'll be here ..for the next few years and will leave to a different country to work with her fiancee. when it comes to my other sister, she is using my parent's house as a hotel and storage. she's sitting here, working, eating, living, and storing everything she needs for when she marries. i wonder if she thinks that once she is in their house (moving in with south asian in-laws) that she won't have to pay rent. we're not south asian, our customs are very different and she doesn't give a rats ass and will do w.e it takes to kiss their asses (refer to blog post titled, my sister is marrying an asshole).

she got a letter from the government today, outlining how she can do her taxes online. "oh these bastards, they always want money!" that's her ignorance. i remind her she has been working 120 hours every two weeks, which seems impossible, but she does it; that there is definitely a huge tax imbalance coming her way this spring. she yells "well i pay rent every month!" clearly she is retarded and doesn't realize so does everyone else. see my parents don't work professional million dollar paying jobs.. we all have to help. my brother puts his entire pay cheque in with my parents for the rent, food, bills. she is here crying over a few hundred. i told her she is disgusting and should move out and realize how much money she would have to pay if she wasn't living off my parents. she is a damn leech and needs a slap on the mouth. i am truly disgusted by her behaviour.

why do people treat their own families so horribly? i still don't understand. i don't want to be a part of her life. i'm so done with her.
screw her, her fiancee, her stupid wedding and everything about her.

i will not stand back and take shit from someone like her.. i need her to respect my parents.

i'm done.

"Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s'affaissent au cachot du désespoir." - Ferdinand

welcome eleven. you came quicker than i had expected.. but that's okay.

wanted to rethink some recent occurences in life; most of which seem like a repeat. i am afraid of sounding like a broken record, but this is my blog! i can sound like whatever my heart pleases; a goat, a chicken, or a freaking broken record.

you can talk to as many people as you want in a day, but at the end of the day, do you feel alone? i wonder what this means. i mean in reality, most people who work live a different life then those of the same age still in school(mostly speaking about those who are recent graduates.. young adults, etc.)

i remember talking to people who were a little older then i when i was still in school; i remember them telling me how much they missed school and all that jazz. i never believed it.. but now that i work full time, don't stay up past 10PM i know what they meant. i truly know. i don't really miss school as a whole, i miss the life i lived while in school a little bit. i hate the responsibility of school, the pressure, the exams.. but i do miss the interaction, social, mental, and somewhat physical i guess.

being at work for 35+ hours a week can take a toll on your body, mind, and soul. seriously. for those who are not in my position yet, please, PLEASE enjoy your stay. it is short, sweet and fun. before you know it, those early morning alarm clocks will make you want to scream.

i don't hate my job, i just hate being anti-social, all thanks to work. it is a part of life and i'm looking forward to growing in my career.. but i mean the grass is always greener and sexier on the other side right?