so i take it that there are many things in life that you cannot control... like who someone else decides to become, professionally, emotionally, naturally; it's even hard to control who you become most of the time.
i can't control the decisions people around me make; good or bad. i can't control the fact that i don't see my family members as much as i'd like; brother potentially missing for 8 years - due to a relationship with a fat, old, whore; sister gone for 2 weeks - married to a guy with a shitty family. when will i see them again? god knows.
i'm going to continue my life, try to keep my parents sane and happy for as long as i physically can. i want to study; i'm not happy with where i am today, working with make up makes me feel like an underachiever; but who says a degree makes you smarter? it may make you seem or look smarter, but in reality it is just a bullshit piece of paper that you work towards for 4 years; repetitive useless shit; oh and don't forgot the no guarantee for a better job.
i'm not sad, i've rekindled an old love affair. i'm just upset; not sad. i'm not crying yet. i've stopped talking to the compulsive liar due to a hideous lie that almost ruined my sister's wedding; which btw was almost halted by my fight with my sister's fresh new bitch-mother-in-lard (another compulsive liar).
i'm going to go now. i'll be back. surely.
