lost me, somewhere in the crowd.

so a stranger now - friend once- decided to re-enter my life today. i was happy for a split second, i truly was. now i feel sadder than ever.
i actually think i may be suffering from a form of depression. i feel like within the last two years, i abandoned my friends and family. i closed up, i swear i'm not that "sweet, funny, bubbly" person i used to be.
i feel like a chunk of me is missing, that i lost a piece of myself over the past few months.
as i lost friend after friend, i kind of realized what friends were worth.
though i don't regret losing these friends, it happened for the best, i can't seem to open up to anyone else that has entered my life.
i feel intimidated by some friends, and feel like i don't belong sometimes. i don't know if everyone goes through a phase like this or even if this is "normal".
i know some of you may have read my post about my brother, well it's still getting to me. i don't know how to find closure for that and many other things in my life.
i miss working with my friends, i lost that job when i injured my foot earlier this year, i want to re -apply but feel a little embarrassed.
i think that i should move on, but i really miss working with my friends and just being around people i LOVE all day.
i mean the new job is awesome, i love it, but it's nothing compared to my old job, and my old memories.
family life is still a bit on the rocks.. we have our moments, at times i want to cry my eyes out and scream right in the middle of the living room, and other times, we laugh, giggle at the stupid things my dogs do.
but being someone else is really hard. i really want to be me again. i'm crying, but it feels good to cry, i've kept this in for a few weeks and didn't know who to tell.
so here i am, exposed, once again.
i want to go cry in bed, i just wake up happier, i really hope it works. wish me luck.
xx