my brother.

i'm a little sad,
and this is because i feel so strongly for a friend on the blogs here, sarah, who blogs on www.girllikesgirl.blogspot.com, she is an awesome person, you can tell just by reading what she writes, and you can almost feel what she writes.
she is going through a rough time, and it reminds me of some moments which were barely similar, but somewhat painful. nothing can compare to what she is feeling though. much love for you sarah!

i'm sad because i miss my brother, i haven't seen him since i was fourteen.
in my family, we are 5 siblings and both my parents are still here with us, and i love them to death. i love my parents oh so much. i really do. as a family, we've been through A LOT in life and not seeing one of our family members has dug out a big hole in our household. i'm crying as a type. i can't help it. as soon as i start talking about my brother, i get very emotional.. because i'm a bit angry at him.
see, my brother was the oldest out of all the siblings, and i'm the youngest. we were always very close, and i'm angry that he doesn't bother calling us. infact, we don't even know where he is.
he left angry. he was dating a woman who was basically a witch. she is an older woman, about my mother's age, with a son who is 25, (my brother is 32 now). which makes it totalllly awkward.
at first, we didn't say anything about her, we accepted her because love is blind, and apparently stupid too.
we didn't mind her, we were sweet to her, me and my two sisters tried hard to make her comfortable in the household. but it was weird, i was a bit young to understand, and didn't get why she was always avoiding our family. she disrespected my family several times, and she didn't like my mother, who i swear is the sweetest woman anyone will ever meet, she didn't like me or my sisters.
she did the weirdest things, and i won't get into it. she didn't tell us about her son, or her past, she claimed she was 27... and yeah.. she didn't look it.
she stayed with us for a few days and so this gave me a chance to get into her stuff one night when she was out with my brother.
we got some i.d. from her bag and there it was, her fake name on a passport. her birthday, and pictures of her old son.
we didn't know what to do. we acted like we never saw it.
eventually she made my father so angry that he made my brother pick between her and us.
and as you can tell .. he picked her. and left our house. and we haven't seen him since.
he called us every now and then, but hasn't called in over two years.
this is hard on my mother, she cried for about 6 months straight. was miserable. and now still misses him ofcourse.
i don't know what to expect.
my dad doesn't mention him to anyone anymore, it's like he never exsisted.
i can't talk about him in front of my mom, it just crushes her.
i don't know what to do. he may read this.. i hope he does, and i hope he knows who is writing this.
i miss him alot, i can't believe it has been 5 years, and i've cried alot.. and i really want to see my brother again. the last time i spoke to him was when i was in the hospital, dying, he decided to call, and i didn't want to talk to him, i was angry, i wish i begged him to come. i wish i did.
i can't stop crying. so i'll stop talking about him. i'm so depressed about this. i don't know what to do.
xx