dreaming in colour

are dreams just figments of our imaginations or are they signs from somewhere to make us more proactive or so?

i've always been very curious about dreams.. those we dream at night which either make us scared, sad, happy or unknown (forget them as we wake).. or the ones that are almost goals we set in life to take us further down in life.
i mean i sometimes feel like i'm having a secret affair with myself, in my head, where i argue, cry, laugh.. and do all sorts of things i would with someone else .. i know i sound crazy but try to step into my shoes, i'll tell you how they feel right now:
i'm a 21 year old non-student.. i mean fashion school graduate. JUST a diploma.. feels like nothing now that it is done. so depressing i swear.
i work as a sales associate at the duty free.. which isn't terrible as there is room to grow.. but i want to grow now.. i don't have the patience i used to have.. i'm afraid of letting those down who have dreamt far bigger dreams for me than i ever could have.

i'm not sad that i am not where i'd like to be, i'm sad because when i do get a chance that the person on the other side can't see me past my minimal experiences..
the problem is.. i am experienced.. but perhaps the jobs i do interview for are looking for other specific things.. and my resume is nothing less than a jumbalaya of things unrelated.
i don't know how to precieve this at th moment.. i just hope that i can really follow my dreams soon.. that i can get a break..
but
reality is.. no one gets a break.. you have to break the glass ceiling.. that tough one up there.. i'm gonna make it to where i have set my goals to.. i want to travel.. and work.. and do both together... and shop and crunch numbers and do makeup.
i'm nothing short of complicated in my own mind however, i don't think i'm that far from simple.

dream big and don't fear your dreams.. you are far more capable then you think. trust me. never underestimate the power of true passion and greeed for success!

schooltronics.

okay okay i'm alive!
i have been missing for a while, needless to say, i have somehow managed to get a little life out of myself.
i miss writing here, i feel like i can speak my heart out over here.
okay so, i don't know if i mentioned school at all, but school is starting for me in january.. .. .. .. eeeek. it has been put off far too many times (two to be exact), now i'm happy yet nervous, yet feel a little pressured about school.
i'm a little scared now, not that it's something i don't like, it's something i love, but i still feel a little sad, you know, having to wake up and do assignments and exams :'( ooo.
well, i'm going to be taking fashion arts, that excites me, but also reminds me of the "special" classmates i'll have. a friend who has taken the course has warned me of the ditzy chicks i'll be meeting, and who will be dropping out almost daily.. yay?
well hope it's going to be a fun ride, and that i get as much as i need out of this.
i'll blog again SOOON i promise : ).
need to sleep before work :(
goodnight and au revoir