Never knew my heart could hurt so

It's been a month exactly as of yesterday. I'm going to come by and see you. I feel like I can speak to you and you can hear me. I really miss you. I hope you're happy wherever you are. I wish I could do more to help your son. I wish I could help your sister cope; I can barely handle coming by to see you. Every time I do, I get back into shock. They say with time, all wounds start to heal, you begin to accept things more. I am eager for that time. I'm trying really hard to be strong but it's so much more difficult then anyone could've ever told me. I never thought you'd be gone so soon. Like my dad said today, "I believe there's a place, another world, where we meet our loved ones once again. It's happier, this life isn't happy". I believe him. I hope it's true. He remembers his childhood and tells us stories. Today he said one about his mother catching grasshoppers in rural Iran in the 50s for my dad. She would catch them and tie strings on them and when my dad would get up, he was very young, he would go play with it for hours and then set it free. This is what he remembers. We all remember very strange things. Most of them are the most simple things and times when someone showed you love. That story made me cry because it reminded me of my grandmother, who I didn't remember but she remembered me so well. We spoke on the phone often. When she passed away, I took it very hard. Life just moves so quickly, today you are here, in the next few minutes you might not be.

I love you M.C. I'm going to come see you tomorrow with flowers. Love you.