deep inside i feel that i may be empty. sort of like a bubble; a black bubble.. no one can tell.
i guess as humans we will always wonder what tomorrow or the future may bring but isn't it a sin to think about the future? why must we live in today when the future seems brighter?
we live, work, sleep, eat and love so that our tomorrow will be better than our today; so why is it that my tomorrows are always the same? i am just tired. i am tired of putting up with downfalls in every step i try to take forward.. i feel like there are arms just pulling me back and those arms just might be my own.
things have been said to me in the past few weeks that have made me far more bitter than they were intended. i believe the person's message got buried under my sea of hate tears. i am however still disgusted by those who lie.
i wish people would stop lying.. our lives would be far more simpler. humans can't not lie though, that is my true belief. hell i lie, not to people i love, i lie about things like why i was late for work.. telling them that i went to sleep crying and couldn't fathom the thought of rushing out of my bed 3 hours later to put on make up on people; i tell them i forgot to set my alarm, i forgot my brushes at home and made a u-turn.
i wonder if i will actually find true love.. is there a mr. right? i don't think i can handle a mr. right-now any more. i am SICK of it and i am tired.
2 comments:
You will find Mr. Right, believe me. Maybe he is or was already in your life and you just did not realize it. My husband and I actually dated for about 8 months and we broke up. 2 relationships and 4 years later I decided to reflect. I just thought back on what we shared, how he treated me like gold and my family was in love with him, especially my mother. I actually think she was a little jealous of me. She use to pester me about when we were getting married. I was immature though and after about 8 months started looking for reasons to break up with him. He was a little clingy but instead of talking to him, I ran. It's not that I did not love him, I just did not know how to communicate my frustrations and problems so instead of fixing them I left. 4 years later I decided to contact him to see how he was doing. He was single, we went for a coffee and that spark from 4 years before came back immediately. I explained to him how immature I was the first time around and made a promise to communicate better and be honest. We were married within 2 years and now have 2 beautiful children. My son Dylan who is 5 and daughter Tracy who is 2 and have been happily married 11 years. I do believe there is someone out there for everyone. Just do not let opportunities slip through your fingers because of something that's preventable like I did. I lost 4 years with the most wonderful man in the world because I was immature and did not know how to communicate. Just make sure you do not overlook a person because of flaws that can be fixed. Nobody is perfect, so stop looking for it. Just find someone who loves you and treats you right.
Shelley
hello shelley
your story is beautiful.. and thank you for the kind words, it's nice to know true love exists
xx blessings
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