tell me something i don't know.

i think i should give up
i mean i've been trying sOO hard to get by..
it's quite sickening. kill me please, i HATE this.

where's my fancy job? my full, over-the-top debit card? seriously.
i need a credit card. i HATE credit cards.

call me back! i can't call you. am i scared to hurt my ego?
me and ego? please.
... it's funny isn't it. alter egos, pretty egos... off topic much?

where is that lengthy, super-delicious friends list?
i don't see it. you know.. with all the gossip, bullshit and what not.

do i miss love? do i miss my love? do i love me? do i miss me?
yeah that's it.. i miss me.
i'm right here.. but i feel very, umm.. what do you call it.. invisible. that didn't really need that much thought now did it?

why is it that i NEED his stupid, ugly, annoying, just totally ughhed- approval?
i think he loves less, and yearns revenge more.
does it scare me you ask? yeah. no, yeah. it does... but i think i can handle this situation. perhaps because i love more. and more.

but i truly miss me. where am i?
i'm stuck in this alternate universe, you know.. stuck behind myself..
how as a child, we seek the shelter of out mothers' leg.. hide behind it and peek, 'no one can see us' we think. i see me. hiding.. crying a little.

don't cry pretty lady. don't.
to give up.. or not to give up? that is the dilemma.
shoot
me
now
.
.
.
i still see me.